Yes, today marks the fourth snow day of this school year. It's getting pretty ridiculous. I didn't mind the first two days too much, but every other day sets me behind in teaching AND my room becomes way too unorganized. I love the snow and would love more....but wish school would stay open.
I'm reading a book called "Codependent No More" by Melody Beattie. Incredible. She defines a codependent person as "one who has let another person's behavior affect him or her, and who is obsessed with controlling that person's behavior."
Codependency is often found in families with addictions to alcohol or drugs. If you know me, you know my immediate family doesn't have either of those problems. With that said, I was reading this book and finding how deeply I had become a codependent. How strange...how could I be affected like this?
As I read on, I learned that the behaviors of a codependent can be learned by models (ex: parents). My Mom, without either of us knowing, introduced me to codependent cooping skills. The day came when I was presented with people who had addictions or dysfunctional living and I didn't know how to handle it. I quickly slipped into codependency with those people and it literally made me feel crazy. Just being around them made me feel crazy.
80% of my time was managing my emotions and responses with those people...even when they weren't around. The other 20% was given to Matt, family, friends, my job, etc. Not balanced at all! Reading this book has changed me! Just having the knowledge and understanding WHY I felt so crazy, WHAT I was actually doing, and HOW I could change that changed my every day living. It was amazing because I wasn't even to the point of applying this information and I was changing. God is so amazing...there is NO way I could have conquered this on my own.
So anyways, I'm almost done with the book. As much as I hate myself for getting into codependency, I'm thrilled to almost be on the other side already. So much of this is a mental battle and that is my weakest trait. As Matt and I were growing stronger together (and quickly doing so) Satan knew where to hit me and make me fall. And boy was I falling fast. How amazing that God never leaves and is always there to set you back in the right direction.
I think I'm gonna end it here and go finish the book! Happy hump day!
