I think everyone has at least one thing about their childhood that makes them cringe. Today my "cringe" surfaced again. My parents always struggled with handling and spending money. They're aware, I'm aware and love them through it, but that didn't mean life wasn't stressful in their home. As a result of that issue, I developed a fear of unreliable vehicles. For some reason the memory of riding in cold, fogged up, embarrassingly noisy, and unstable cars is and will always be strong to me.
Today my Mother-in-law hit a pothole and blew her tire. Not a big deal. The car was not towed, she was safe, but....it still makes my stomach turn. The idea of being unsure if the car will make it or something could happen worries me.
My husband has done a marvelous job in providing security in this area of my life. Of course it doesn't change the past or release all my fear. It certainly helps though. We both come from families that didn't have money. God knows what he's doing and I think he's molded us into better people because of it.
I have sworn to myself that I will never drive or put my future children in a car that I'm unsure of. If it has maintenance problems, fix it. If there isn't the money for it, find another way to get there. Slightly extreme, but I'm the kind of person that would rather be safe than sorry.
I'm really thinking this may lead to a ministry that I will one day be involved in. Reaching people and meeting that need is very powerful to me.
On another heavy note, as a teacher I've been refreshed. The car situation made me think of one of my students and the life she has when she goes home. She's the one that can make me want to pull my hair out, beat my head against the wall, or just scream. I've come to a place of frustration and wondered what am I going to do to break through to her? Of course I know the answer, love. That's what God's called us to do and specifically me to do through teaching. To spread His love to my students.
I've be reminded that SHE is why I'm teaching. She is my MOTIVATION, not my frustration. She is why I wake up in the morning and passionately work hard every day. There is nothing more fulfilling for me than to see a student that usually goes home with a list of bad behaviors from the day, instead walk out the door with a smile and stickers showing they had a marvelous day!
Wow, an intense blog this time! Maybe I'll try to ease it up on the next one. :)
well, you gotta remember too, cars are cars. They don't last forever, no matter how hard you try. There is always something it needs. I'm reading a book on the life of George Lucas and he said even though he can purchase really expensive cars and get the best kind, it's still a car and it still will have problems and will need work.
ReplyDeleteOf course, our situations were more... on the low end. Having to fix the car more often because of the kind of car and the time in-between damage of fix. I don't know. I just see a car as a car, like any other car on the lot. they will all have problems eventually. (and some more than others. hah) Just stay one step ahead of the problem! If it's time to change the oil, do it! One of the people I know here didn't even know she was suppose to change her oil, and she had accumulated thousands of miles over her due date. Which, naturally, lead to some other problems. If she had brought the car in, or changed the oil herself, none of that would happen.
So, don't worry about it! stay ahead and watch out for pot holes xD